The Red Badge of Courage, by Stephen Crane, is not a very good book. It may be praised by a lot of people and called a classic, but I don't really think it's much of classic material. Indeed, it's pretty low on the classic scale, in my opinion. Then again, what do I know? I'm just a high school student. I'm stupid and ignorant and completely oblivious of what is right and wrong. Thusly, there's no possible way that I'm right about anything! What am I talking about, again?
Oh, yeah, the chapters. While the novel incorporates its own individual qualities, it greatly represents those of the Realism period: The here-and-now aspect; less religious and paranormal aspects, more of the real and true; and the deeper look into the psychological aspect of the individual's mind. As the novel starts off, it seems less concerned with Henry's (the main character) enlistment in the army, and more concerned about the psychological ordeal he will have to suffer through.
As the novel progresses, the reader learns of Henry's ultimate fear: When the time comes to truly fight, will he stay, or will he run? To help validate his opinion, he does what any other person would do: He bases his decision around the decisions of an entire group. When he learns of the mens' disposition, he decides that, if they run, so shall he. Because of this, it creates a certain turmoil within him; he has a want to fight and continue onward, but his fear and cowardice are the true driving forces of his enrollment, not his innermost desires. Crane presents an idea unlike any other: Is the human desire to truly want more powerful than the primal instinct of fear?
To Henry, these desires are able to play out for one battle, but upon seeing a multitude of other men flee, he himself retreats as well. This psychological diversion from the battlefield to complete solitude and safety is directly contrasting to the outside forces, yet corresponding to the entire feel of Henry's character--he is driven by wants, but instead acts on cowardice and fear. These final emotions are what drive the entirety of the novel from beginning to end.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Veterans Day Field Trip
What is there to say about the Veterans Day field trip? I'll say this: I just recently learned that the correct grammatical way of spelling Veterans Day is not Veteran's Day, but Veterans Day, minus the apostrophe. Incredible, isn't it? You learn something new every day, I tell you. It's curious.
Anyhow, the field was, all-in-all, a pretty good success. I was surprised at how well the whole school (or my group, anyways) behaved, as well as the respect most everyone showed towards the military as well as at the cemetery. Now that I can praise the rest of the school for that, there's not much else I can say about everything.
The most exciting portion? I would say the military base. Why wouldn't it be, though? I got to play with (unloaded) guns and night vision, as well as climb around inside a, what, five million dollar military vehicle? If someone doesn't enjoy that, then something is incredibly wrong with them, I'm sorry! I got to see bullets that were about four inches long and I held a gun that was bigger than my torso.
Moving along, the memorial was cool, it had interesting stuff and was well-designed. The Air Force and Fire Department place was incredibly boring and not fun. I didn't learn much of anything, and I got lectured by a man saying how we should stay in Iraq. I did not like this place.
The Camp Butler Cemetery was much better. I thought some people could be a bit more respectful, but otherwise, I was enamored by the entire situation. It struck me in some way that I didn't think I'd be struck. It was a pretty good experience.
Anyhow, the field was, all-in-all, a pretty good success. I was surprised at how well the whole school (or my group, anyways) behaved, as well as the respect most everyone showed towards the military as well as at the cemetery. Now that I can praise the rest of the school for that, there's not much else I can say about everything.
The most exciting portion? I would say the military base. Why wouldn't it be, though? I got to play with (unloaded) guns and night vision, as well as climb around inside a, what, five million dollar military vehicle? If someone doesn't enjoy that, then something is incredibly wrong with them, I'm sorry! I got to see bullets that were about four inches long and I held a gun that was bigger than my torso.
Moving along, the memorial was cool, it had interesting stuff and was well-designed. The Air Force and Fire Department place was incredibly boring and not fun. I didn't learn much of anything, and I got lectured by a man saying how we should stay in Iraq. I did not like this place.
The Camp Butler Cemetery was much better. I thought some people could be a bit more respectful, but otherwise, I was enamored by the entire situation. It struck me in some way that I didn't think I'd be struck. It was a pretty good experience.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Realistic Dreams
Realistic dreams are pretty crazy, I have to tell you. As a matter of fact, they scare me. I'm not sure what to believe when I have a realistic dream. I'll think one thing, but it ends up being another. How am I supposed to know if this one thing will be real or if another will in fact be real? I'm not sure! Realistically, it's easy to figure out what is reality and what is not. Actually, it's very easy. I'm not arguing what's easy and what's not, though. The question of what is real and what's not is not up for debate! At least, not in this case. There are many philosophical ideas that could dismiss the idea that reality is reality. This doesn't matter, though! What matters is that I had a realistic dream once.
I was in second grade or something like that, I don't know. I had a dream that I died and that the elementary school was heaven! My family was there, too, because they died, apparently. I was sad and all freaking out, but it doesn't matter, because I was dead too. I walked around this apparent heaven and kind of chilled for a while. Needless to say, when I woke up I was incredibly scared. I kind of ambled about with an increasing idea of despair and sadness, feeling as though my life was fake and that I was actually dead. I had this feeling persist for hours on end as I pondered my predicament constantly throughout the entirety of this ordeal. Nevertheless, I came to the conclusion that I was, in fact, alive.
Am I alive now, though? That's the question. Maybe this is all a dream, and I'm really just in the middle of dying, like that one dude in An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, by Ambrose Bierce.
That would suck.
I was in second grade or something like that, I don't know. I had a dream that I died and that the elementary school was heaven! My family was there, too, because they died, apparently. I was sad and all freaking out, but it doesn't matter, because I was dead too. I walked around this apparent heaven and kind of chilled for a while. Needless to say, when I woke up I was incredibly scared. I kind of ambled about with an increasing idea of despair and sadness, feeling as though my life was fake and that I was actually dead. I had this feeling persist for hours on end as I pondered my predicament constantly throughout the entirety of this ordeal. Nevertheless, I came to the conclusion that I was, in fact, alive.
Am I alive now, though? That's the question. Maybe this is all a dream, and I'm really just in the middle of dying, like that one dude in An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, by Ambrose Bierce.
That would suck.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Favorite Tall Tale
As I sit here with a tongue burning due to Nerds and I wait on a video converter to install, I feel as though I should reflect on my favorite tall tale. What do any of these things have in common? Well, there's one thing: They have nothing in common, so by having nothing in common, they--in turn--have indeed something in common. Fascinating, huh? Not really.
Regardless, my favorite tall tale... Well god, I'm not sure. How am I supposed to? I don't even like tall tales, much less have a favorite of them! But I guess if I had to choose, it'd be Paul Bunyan. Why? Well Paul Bunyan is freaking Paul Bunyan. 100 feet tall, big, burly, strong--bearded! What more could a dude ask for? Sure, if you're a sissy you would deny the manly awesomeness of Paul Bunyan, but let's face it: No man, regardless of his masculinity, can deny Paul Bunyan.
Now, Johnny Appleseed? Hell yes, a guy could deny him! He was a wimp, walking around just planting apple trees. Paul Bunyan chopped down Johnny's little apple trees, that's what he did! And then right after, he and that bull went and kicked some ass elsewhere. Johnny was the olden times hippie; Paul Bunyan was an old school badBUTT. There's no other way to put it!
In lieu of these points, Paul Bunyan was still a cool tall tale. Okay, I can't stop myself; he made a bull out of a mountain, his axe, and pure testosterone! What the hell?! How could he not be the coolest person in the history of the world? You tell me, you honestly tell me how he is a wussy, and I will tell you that you are the greatest person ever.
Regardless, my favorite tall tale... Well god, I'm not sure. How am I supposed to? I don't even like tall tales, much less have a favorite of them! But I guess if I had to choose, it'd be Paul Bunyan. Why? Well Paul Bunyan is freaking Paul Bunyan. 100 feet tall, big, burly, strong--bearded! What more could a dude ask for? Sure, if you're a sissy you would deny the manly awesomeness of Paul Bunyan, but let's face it: No man, regardless of his masculinity, can deny Paul Bunyan.
Now, Johnny Appleseed? Hell yes, a guy could deny him! He was a wimp, walking around just planting apple trees. Paul Bunyan chopped down Johnny's little apple trees, that's what he did! And then right after, he and that bull went and kicked some ass elsewhere. Johnny was the olden times hippie; Paul Bunyan was an old school badBUTT. There's no other way to put it!
In lieu of these points, Paul Bunyan was still a cool tall tale. Okay, I can't stop myself; he made a bull out of a mountain, his axe, and pure testosterone! What the hell?! How could he not be the coolest person in the history of the world? You tell me, you honestly tell me how he is a wussy, and I will tell you that you are the greatest person ever.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Vengeance
Why is vengeance always considered such a bad thing? Vengeance is a natural reaction to a bad situation, and it's something that is completely natural. I'm sorry if this seems a bit overboard in comparison, but a homosexual person isn't wrong for being attracted to the same sex, it's just natural! So why is it wrong to feel compelled to give another person what they deserve? Of course vengeance can go too far, and a person's obsession with it could cause him or her to become severely psychologically disassociated with reality, causing a mental breakdown which could lead to effects of psychosis or other fun stuff (well, rarely, I guess).
Regardless, I feel as though vengeance is a good thing. Yes, it's good to forgive and forget; don't get all worked up over someone saying a rude comment to you, just let that go. Why give a damn about it if the hurt will just dissipate within a few minutes?* Such a lust for vengeance isn't worth it, in this situation. It's unfounded, obsessive, and all-around idiotic. Just because someone said you were ugly or have bad breath or some other such insult doesn't mean you need to dump pig blood on them, causing them to go all telekinetic on your ass. I'm looking at you, Carrie.**
But if the person truly hurt you? What if they harmed you in some irreparable way? Is it justified then? The line, at this point, begins to be blurred. What is right and what is wrong is, in some way, fallible. Is there such a thing as a moral and ethical choice in vengeance? I don't believe so. Vengeance is not about right or wrong, it is about justice. Just doesn't cater to right or wrong, it caters only to what is justified. Vengeance, in this respect, is indeed justified. What happens because of vengeance is where the negative portrayal of it in the media is founded. The ramifications, physically and emotionally, could be vast.
Vengeance, however, is not a toy to play around with, it is an aspect of one's life that is completely separate from the rest. Its origins are burrowed deep within the recesses of your mind, mimicking and following your patterns as if it is your puppet. These memories fuel vengeance, but they are not vengeance. Vengeance is an aspect of lust; a type of lecherous want that caters to all emotions--sadness, anger, happiness, etc. Vengeance, then, could be seen as a psychological drug that is used as a way of getting an ultimate high; so many emotions bursting forth through one act, one pursuit, one quest, these are what define vengeance, and what ultimately define its conclusion.
Take the Asian film, Oldboy, for example.
Before I continue, this will contain key plot points in this film, so if for some reason you want to see this incredible film (and I highly suggest you do), then skip over this section.
In the film, Oh Dae-Su, a father and husband, is imprisoned in a room for 15 years with no explanation or means of escape. Finally, he is inexplicably released. Upon his release, he vows to find the man who committed this crime and exact his revenge.
Is this vengeance unfounded? No, of course not. Indeed, it is more than understandable; after being locked in a room for 15 years, I'd want to maul the person that did it to death, too! But let's read on...
After he is released back into the world, he meets a woman by the name of Mi-Do. She invites him into her house and the two go on a quest to find the man, whose name is Woo-Jin. Upon finally finding and confronting him, however, Oh Dae-Su decides not to kill him in order to find out why he was imprisoned.
This is understandable as well. No matter how much we are under the influence of vengeance, that quest for knowledge and insatiable appetite for truth will always gnaw at the back of our minds.
Oh Dae-Su figures it out, though he loses an old friend in the process. He was imprisoned because he inadvertently spread a rumor in high school that Woo-Jin committed incest with his sister, which was in this case actually true. Due to this rumor, his sister ended up committing suicide.
Well that sucks, doesn't it? Oh Dae-Su didn't actually mean to spread such a rumor, regardless of its truth, and his sister's suicide was purely coincidental. At least the motive is finally discovered! Well, let's continue...
After this revelation, Oh Dae-Su and Mi-Do confess their love for each other and have sex. Oh Dae-Su confronts Woo-Jin, and this is where things get interesting... This is where the greatest twist in film history is revealed. Oh Dae-Su's daughter was secretly raised by Woo-Jin during this 15-year period of imprisonment. Both Oh Dae-Su and his daughter, who is actually Mi-Do were hypnotized into following a series of commands that would end up with them falling in love with each other. In the end, Woo-Jin forced an unknowing Oh Dae-Su and his daughter into committing incest together.
Worse comes to worse, Oh Dae-Su ends up being the one begging for forgiveness, with a laughing Woo-Jin watching in amusement. He cuts off his tongue as a sign of silence, and Woo-Jin agrees to not tell Mi-Do the truth. Here's the kicker, though: Oh Dae-Su has his memory erased of all the events surrounding the past 15 years of his life, and then reunites with Mi-Do in a passionate, loving embrace.
The end.
So what could we learn from this film? Not that vengeance is wrong, but that vengeance can have unknown consequences, and that one should exercise caution when commencing such a trek. It also teaches us to check our girl/boyfriend's birth certificate before you decide to go any further than a hug...
Regardless, I feel as though vengeance is a good thing. Yes, it's good to forgive and forget; don't get all worked up over someone saying a rude comment to you, just let that go. Why give a damn about it if the hurt will just dissipate within a few minutes?* Such a lust for vengeance isn't worth it, in this situation. It's unfounded, obsessive, and all-around idiotic. Just because someone said you were ugly or have bad breath or some other such insult doesn't mean you need to dump pig blood on them, causing them to go all telekinetic on your ass. I'm looking at you, Carrie.**
But if the person truly hurt you? What if they harmed you in some irreparable way? Is it justified then? The line, at this point, begins to be blurred. What is right and what is wrong is, in some way, fallible. Is there such a thing as a moral and ethical choice in vengeance? I don't believe so. Vengeance is not about right or wrong, it is about justice. Just doesn't cater to right or wrong, it caters only to what is justified. Vengeance, in this respect, is indeed justified. What happens because of vengeance is where the negative portrayal of it in the media is founded. The ramifications, physically and emotionally, could be vast.
Vengeance, however, is not a toy to play around with, it is an aspect of one's life that is completely separate from the rest. Its origins are burrowed deep within the recesses of your mind, mimicking and following your patterns as if it is your puppet. These memories fuel vengeance, but they are not vengeance. Vengeance is an aspect of lust; a type of lecherous want that caters to all emotions--sadness, anger, happiness, etc. Vengeance, then, could be seen as a psychological drug that is used as a way of getting an ultimate high; so many emotions bursting forth through one act, one pursuit, one quest, these are what define vengeance, and what ultimately define its conclusion.
Take the Asian film, Oldboy, for example.
Before I continue, this will contain key plot points in this film, so if for some reason you want to see this incredible film (and I highly suggest you do), then skip over this section.
In the film, Oh Dae-Su, a father and husband, is imprisoned in a room for 15 years with no explanation or means of escape. Finally, he is inexplicably released. Upon his release, he vows to find the man who committed this crime and exact his revenge.
Is this vengeance unfounded? No, of course not. Indeed, it is more than understandable; after being locked in a room for 15 years, I'd want to maul the person that did it to death, too! But let's read on...
After he is released back into the world, he meets a woman by the name of Mi-Do. She invites him into her house and the two go on a quest to find the man, whose name is Woo-Jin. Upon finally finding and confronting him, however, Oh Dae-Su decides not to kill him in order to find out why he was imprisoned.
This is understandable as well. No matter how much we are under the influence of vengeance, that quest for knowledge and insatiable appetite for truth will always gnaw at the back of our minds.
Oh Dae-Su figures it out, though he loses an old friend in the process. He was imprisoned because he inadvertently spread a rumor in high school that Woo-Jin committed incest with his sister, which was in this case actually true. Due to this rumor, his sister ended up committing suicide.
Well that sucks, doesn't it? Oh Dae-Su didn't actually mean to spread such a rumor, regardless of its truth, and his sister's suicide was purely coincidental. At least the motive is finally discovered! Well, let's continue...
After this revelation, Oh Dae-Su and Mi-Do confess their love for each other and have sex. Oh Dae-Su confronts Woo-Jin, and this is where things get interesting... This is where the greatest twist in film history is revealed. Oh Dae-Su's daughter was secretly raised by Woo-Jin during this 15-year period of imprisonment. Both Oh Dae-Su and his daughter, who is actually Mi-Do were hypnotized into following a series of commands that would end up with them falling in love with each other. In the end, Woo-Jin forced an unknowing Oh Dae-Su and his daughter into committing incest together.
Worse comes to worse, Oh Dae-Su ends up being the one begging for forgiveness, with a laughing Woo-Jin watching in amusement. He cuts off his tongue as a sign of silence, and Woo-Jin agrees to not tell Mi-Do the truth. Here's the kicker, though: Oh Dae-Su has his memory erased of all the events surrounding the past 15 years of his life, and then reunites with Mi-Do in a passionate, loving embrace.
The end.
So what could we learn from this film? Not that vengeance is wrong, but that vengeance can have unknown consequences, and that one should exercise caution when commencing such a trek. It also teaches us to check our girl/boyfriend's birth certificate before you decide to go any further than a hug...
Monday, November 9, 2009
My Biggest Fear
Ah, fears. That psychological phenomenon that I've never been able to defeat. It's impossible to think you'll never be afraid. Honestly, I still get spooked when I'm in the dark, feeling as though some killer will pop up out of nowhere and kill me. I don't believe in ghosts, and even when I'm alone, I'll feel like something like that will happen. Then again, there's more than just those types of fears. There's fears for the future; fears of death, heights, speed, there are so many fears that anyone can have.
My biggest fear, though, that's hard to pinpoint. I could say death, but I've sort of gotten over that. I could say heights, but I'm not too afraid of those. I would have to say my biggest fear is being in a situation where every person you've ever cared about and loved completely abandons you and knowingly betrays you. I feel like the pain would be so unimaginable that--well, I guess I don't really want to try and think of it. I get dramatic a lot, don't I? I can think of it, and I have. I just know it'd hurt uncontrollably.
Imagine just being completely helpless and alone. No one is there for you; those who you thought loved you have abandoned you and do things behind your back that completely paralyze you with pain. You cannot stop them, and they wouldn't listen even if you tried. All you can do is allow it to continue and deal with the pain. There is no fresh start, you have to live with this pain all your life. Of course, you can move on, but it just feels like the pain would be so unbearable. Maybe others have a higher threshold for it, but I don't give out too much trust and care, anymore, so when that rare trust is taken advantage of, it hurts!
While this may not be the most conventional fear (indeed, it's quite the taboo), it certainly means a lot to me.
My biggest fear, though, that's hard to pinpoint. I could say death, but I've sort of gotten over that. I could say heights, but I'm not too afraid of those. I would have to say my biggest fear is being in a situation where every person you've ever cared about and loved completely abandons you and knowingly betrays you. I feel like the pain would be so unimaginable that--well, I guess I don't really want to try and think of it. I get dramatic a lot, don't I? I can think of it, and I have. I just know it'd hurt uncontrollably.
Imagine just being completely helpless and alone. No one is there for you; those who you thought loved you have abandoned you and do things behind your back that completely paralyze you with pain. You cannot stop them, and they wouldn't listen even if you tried. All you can do is allow it to continue and deal with the pain. There is no fresh start, you have to live with this pain all your life. Of course, you can move on, but it just feels like the pain would be so unbearable. Maybe others have a higher threshold for it, but I don't give out too much trust and care, anymore, so when that rare trust is taken advantage of, it hurts!
While this may not be the most conventional fear (indeed, it's quite the taboo), it certainly means a lot to me.
Peaceful Protest
Honestly, peaceful protests are boring. I like hearing about riots where four people are maimed with one person's ear chewed off. Okay, so I'm joking around, peaceful protests are good. Of course, I'm not sure about how much of a job they get done. I'll be honest, the protests look great on paper, we look back on the 1960's sit-ins and such, but did they really do much at the time? Sure, they symbolized something greater than what they were, they were humane and loving, allowing the hatred of others against them to be used as a catalyst in their plea for African American rights.
Though the protests were ironic in a beneficial way, they seemed to be seen that way due to us viewing them with loving eyes. At the time, though, it's very likely they were viewed as idiotic, foolish, and counter-productive. So what can we infer from peaceful protests? I believe that there are two sides to the debate that must be addressed: Are peaceful protests productive for short-term fixes, or are they filler for a more cataclysmic event that truly changes the way everything becomes?
To be honest, I'm not quite sure. I believe in peace being incredibly needed in the world, and that it's something we all should strive for, but I'm not sure how effective it can truly be in the end. While I feel it should be the end-all-be-all, I struggle to see it approaching in the near future--or ever, for that matter. Hey, it's a grim outlook, and though I respect everything that peaceful protests are and all that they stand for, I cannot truly condone them. I am unsure of their final outcome and how well they end up being. While violence is definitely not the solution, I'm not sure peace can be, either. I guess it sounds stupid, but hey.
Though the protests were ironic in a beneficial way, they seemed to be seen that way due to us viewing them with loving eyes. At the time, though, it's very likely they were viewed as idiotic, foolish, and counter-productive. So what can we infer from peaceful protests? I believe that there are two sides to the debate that must be addressed: Are peaceful protests productive for short-term fixes, or are they filler for a more cataclysmic event that truly changes the way everything becomes?
To be honest, I'm not quite sure. I believe in peace being incredibly needed in the world, and that it's something we all should strive for, but I'm not sure how effective it can truly be in the end. While I feel it should be the end-all-be-all, I struggle to see it approaching in the near future--or ever, for that matter. Hey, it's a grim outlook, and though I respect everything that peaceful protests are and all that they stand for, I cannot truly condone them. I am unsure of their final outcome and how well they end up being. While violence is definitely not the solution, I'm not sure peace can be, either. I guess it sounds stupid, but hey.
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