My Biggest Fear

Ah, fears.  That psychological phenomenon that I've never been able to defeat.  It's impossible to think you'll never be afraid.  Honestly, I still get spooked when I'm in the dark, feeling as though some killer will pop up out of nowhere and kill me.  I don't believe in ghosts, and even when I'm alone, I'll feel like something like that will happen.  Then again, there's more than just those types of fears.  There's fears for the future; fears of death, heights, speed, there are so many fears that anyone can have.

My biggest fear, though, that's hard to pinpoint.  I could say death, but I've sort of gotten over that.  I could say heights, but I'm not too afraid of those.  I would have to say my biggest fear is being in a situation where every person you've ever cared about and loved completely abandons you and knowingly betrays you.  I feel like the pain would be so unimaginable that--well, I guess I don't really want to try and think of it.  I get dramatic a lot, don't I?  I can think of it, and I have.  I just know it'd hurt uncontrollably.

Imagine just being completely helpless and alone.  No one is there for you; those who you thought loved you have abandoned you and do things behind your back that completely paralyze you with pain.  You cannot stop them, and they wouldn't listen even if you tried.  All you can do is allow it to continue and deal with the pain.  There is no fresh start, you have to live with this pain all your life.  Of course, you can move on, but it just feels like the pain would be so unbearable.  Maybe others have a higher threshold for it, but I don't give out too much trust and care, anymore, so when that rare trust is taken advantage of, it hurts!

While this may not be the most conventional fear (indeed, it's quite the taboo), it certainly means a lot to me.